I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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