I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
