Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
