Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize