first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
