I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
