She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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