My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
