What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I see more hoeing in ur future
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