All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
