oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
