Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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