Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
