i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
