BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
