I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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