i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
