Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
