I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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