im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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