You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
