I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
