this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
