this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
