like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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