She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
