Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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