he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
