I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
