Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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