8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
