she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
