She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
