I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
