NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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