So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
