I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
high people should be assigned attendants
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
