I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You took a bar mat shot.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
