Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
