dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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