at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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