She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
