So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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