The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
