I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
