i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
