Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
