Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
