First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
