So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You made out with two different species that night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
