Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize