I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
