Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
