i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
