but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
