please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
