I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
