Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
