420 ftw
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
