Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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