So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
