i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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