Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
