Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He felt like a one man threesome
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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